The Bonds of Family
by Shadowwriter1636
Summary: Rossi's point of view on family and the death of Erin. I thought I might write more on this but I think it's done. 2 chapters that's it. I was going to go a different direction until one the reviews so I kept Erin dead...for this story anyway.
1. Chapter 1: Anger

**The Bonds of Family**

**Disclaimer: This is a Rossi/Strauss story, I love Rossi, and therefore I love Rossi and Strauss. I don't own the characters or anything dealing with Criminal Minds, except this story. I don't like the way they killed off Erin, so I may change it to suit my own twisted mind**. **This may be in several chapters since I'm not sure how I want to get to the end. **

Chapter 1: Anger.

How had it gotten to this point? He thought as he sat at his desk filling out reports and sipping a cup of now cold coffee. She was here, and then she was gone. Taken away by a vengeful agent, who blamed her for his failures. They had caught Curtis, but it was too late, they were too late, he was too late. Turning the desk chair a little, David Rossi stared out the window into the darkness and let his mind wonder back to a happier time.

_It was a warm night in Virginia; JJ was walking down the makeshift aisle he had created in his back yard. In a short 24 hours he had thrown together the perfect wedding, a wedding for his family, for JJ and Will. The rest of his family was there as well. His family, not his blood relatives, but they were family, more so than his blood. Everyone looked happy and seeing them all this way made him happy. As the minster started to perform the ceremony, he looked a few faces to his left; there she stood with that seldom seen smile. The smile she didn't let very many people see. A smile that she was beginning to allow this team…this family see more and more. She looked so beautiful. He remembered the look on her face when he asked her to dance. A look of surprise, she didn't say a word, just let him take her hand and lead her to the temporary dance floor. She let him wrap his arms around her and together they danced the night away, sure he had danced with Emily, Beth, Penelope and JJ's mother, but he seemed to always gravitate back to Erin Strauss. _

David smiled and turned back to the present and the reports on his desk. The director wanted a full explanation on the events of last week. He wanted to know if there was a way the Replicator could have been brought in alive. No one could answer that except him. Could he have brought John Curtis in alive, maybe, but then they both may have blown up in that house. Was he sorry Curtis was blown to bits? Hell no, it was payback for what he had done to Erin, to his Erin, his family. He slammed the file closed, and stood up. He was mad, pissed as hell. He knew the stages of grief, and he knew he shouldn't be at the angry stage yet, but he was. He was angry that the director was doubting the team, he was mad that he couldn't save her, if he had gone back to the hotel sooner; she might still be with him. His heart began to ache again. Walking to the window that looked out over the bullpen, he noticed his team had all gone home. Quietly he said "I'm sorry, Erin, I wasn't there." Slowly he walked back and down at his desk, looked at the clock, 8:45 PM. Opening the folder, he knew he had to finish this report. Erin would have expected it; he would do it for her. Finishing the reports an hour later, David Rossi flipped off the desk lamp, leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. Tomorrow was going to be another hard day, Hotch had called earlier, the director asked that they clean out Erin Strauss' office, Hotch wanted Dave to be there to help decide what was business and what was personal. He wasn't sure sitting in the dark if he was up to this, but he would do it…do it for Erin…do it for family.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2,:Special Memories

David Rossi woke to the gentle tapping at his office door. He must have fallen asleep at his desk, he was exhausted. The last 4 days had take its toll on him, had it really only been 4 days since he lost the one woman who both irritated him to no end and also made him happier than anyone else? Looking up he saw Penelope Garcia standing in the open door.

"Did you sleep here again?" she questioned, with genuine concern in her eyes.

Dave just nodded, stood and stretched, trying to ease the screaming muscles in his back. He had gone home only once since Erin's funeral and that was the night his family celebrated her life. It was a night of both laughter and tears. He tried to crawl into bed after everyone had left, but the pillows smelled like her. He knew in time that smell would bring him comfort, but that night he caused nothing but pain.

He was brought out of his own thoughts, when Penelope touched his arm and asked, "Rossi, are you okay? Can I do anything for you?"

He smiled at the young lady, knowing that she would move heaven and earth to ease his pain, their pain, the pain his family felt. "No, thank you, I'm fine or I will be."

The young woman, who Rossi had become quite fond of moved over to where he stood, placed the cup of espresso on his desk and enveloped him in a tender hug. She wasn't sure at first if he would allow her to embrace him, but was relieved when he hugged her back. It wasn't a lingering hug, but she knew it was the best he could do and what he needed at the time. Stepping back, David whispered, "I don't know how to do this, Penelope. I don't know how to go on without her. She is everywhere I turn."

"Oh, honey, no one expects you to do this alone, not now. We are all here for you, you're the reason this team became a family, and family means no one left behind or forgotten. We won't leave you and we won't forget, Erin." Her heart ached for him and for the member their family was mourning.

"I know that, I just miss her." He said absent mindedly picking up the photo on his desk of Hotch, Erin and himself at JJ's wedding.

Garcia moved to see which photo he held. Taking it from his had she smiled, "She looks happy here, you all do."

Dave smiled a sad but thoughtful smile. "That's the night we knew we wanted to be together. Sure we had gone out a few times, but we both thought until then it was just going to be friends with benefits, but that night…" He shook his head and continued. "…that night she stole my heart. It wasn't always the easiest road, but we knew if we were traveling it together, we would make it."

Penelope put the frame back on his desk, laid her hand gently against his cheek and smiled, "She loved you, Studly. It was written all over her face when she looked at you and thought no one was looking. Hold on to that my Italian Amico. Now I have to get to my office, but if you need me just whistle. You know how to whistle don't you? You just pucker up and blow."

Rossi watched as she flew from his office, chuckling to himself. Turning to his desk, he finally noticed the cup on the edge, it was from the Caffe', his favorite Italian coffee house, located in the lobby level of the Renaissance Washington, DC DuPont hotel. It was not the easiest place to go just for coffee. He and Erin had stayed there a couple times, just to add a little spice to things. Picking up the cup he sat down holding it in his hands as if it was his lifeline. Closing his eyes he went back to a happier time.

_Erin had wanted to see the show "Nice Work if You Can Get it" and it had been sold out for weeks, but he knew how much she wished to go and called in a few favors to score two tickets. He wanted to make it a special night. She had done so well at pulling herself together after rehab, and was even a sponsor. He was proud of her want wanted to show her with a celebration. They had enjoyed the show, a nice late dinner complete with non alcoholic Italian wine, and the most romantic suite the Renaissance had to offer. He remembered how beautiful she looked as he watched her eyes, when their passion over took them and they fell into a steady rhythm, meeting their release at the same moment. Sleeping wrapped in the warmth of her arms and waking to watch her strutting around the room in his tux shirt warmed his heart. Oh there was nothing sexier to David Rossi than Erin Strauss in his shirt and nothing else. _

Dave opened his eyes to see a smiling Aaron Hotchner, looking at him. "Daydreaming, Dave?"

"What make you say that?" He asked, not moving.

Hotch, sauntered further into the room and closed the door so no one else would hear. "Oh, I don't know something you said."

"What did I say or what do you think I said?" Dave questioned.

"You had your eyes closed and said, nothing sexier that Erin Strauss in my shirt and nothing else." Hotch had the decency to blush a little. He knew his closest friend had been thinking, maybe even dreaming of a time when he was truly happy.

Lowering his head and looking at his hands, Rossi, said so softly Hotch wasn't sure if he even heard him, "to me there was nothing sexier, and when she stood on her toes to look in a mirror, those legs." A small sad smile crossed his lips and his friend could see the mix of pleasure and pain at that thought.

Hotch knew Dave needed to say what was on his mind and heart. He'd been there; he knew how hard it was to lose someone you deeply cared about, someone you loved, that's how it was when Haley died. Dave had been his sounding board, his drinking buddy and his friend through the roughest times and he was going to make sure he was there for his friend.

"Do you need anything, Dave?" Hotch asked, watching his partner shake his head, "well, I'll be in my office when you are ready to start in Erin's office." He began to move towards the door, when he saw Dave stand.

"Let's do it now, we need to get it over." Rossi put on his best poker face, opened his door and moved through the bullpen to the elevator. Anyone who didn't know he had lost the person most important to him 4 short days ago would have thought he was just an agent going about his daily business and that is what he wanted the world to think. He was after all David Rossi.

Aaron was the first through the doors of the BAU Section Chief's office. Turning on the lights and looking around unsure of where to start. Why had the director wanted them to do this, wasn't this a job for another department? He looked over his shoulder to see Dave standing on the other side of the door, looking like he might just loose his breakfast, if he had eaten, which Hotch knew he hadn't, he bet his friend hadn't eaten in days.

Stepping into the room, Rossi looked around, seeing several things right off that her children would want to keep, photographs and mementos of family times. He picked up a framed picture and stared at it, he didn't remember ever seeing it before. It was of her son Daniel and himself laughing. He remembered this moment, they had just finished doing dishes and having a water fight, one of the few times all her children had been with them, but he hadn't realized someone snapped a picture. He enjoyed her children and they seemed to like him as well. Daniel told him that night, he hadn't seen his mother this happy in a long time and he knew it was in part because of David. He placed the picture in a box marked Personal, somehow he knew that box would be the things he would take with him and cherish.

Dave and Aaron moved around the room, gathering up all the work related items from the desk and drawers, putting them in totes for the moving crew to come in and take, when all the business was gone through and put in proper containers, they began going through the personal. Hotch and Rossi both knew this would be the hardest part for both.

The BAU team leader, picked up a small yellow figure from the shelf by the door and asked, "What the heck is this?"

"It's a Minion."

"A what?" Aaron asked laughing.

"You mean to tell me you have a 7 year old son and you don't know what a Minion is? It's a character from the movie **Despicable Me." **Dave said, taking the toy from his friend. "One Saturday afternoon, we didn't have anything to do so we went to a kid's movie. It was fun. Erin fell in love with those little yellow creatures so, I bought her one to remember that silly day. She kept it here, I'm not sure why but she said it made her smile and gave her strength on hard days. Who would have thought a stupid toy could do all that?"

"I don't think it was so much the toy, Dave, as the memories and the company that made it special." Hotch put the toy in the box looking up to see, JJ, Reid and Morgan standing there.

"We wanted to check on you two, see if you needed help." JJ said sitting on the couch watching as Dave, packed away some book in a container marked, Children.

"I think we are okay, but I'm starving, why don't you order a couple pizzas, grab Garcia and we'll have lunch while we finish. I'm sure from what, I've seen and heard, Dave might have a couple stories to make us smile. Give us an insight to the Erin we didn't really know." He turned to look at Rossi, who was staring at yet another photo he hadn't remembered seeing. "Is that okay with you, Dave?"

Looking up to see everyone looking at him, he said, "yeah, sure." Not really aware of what he had just agreed too, then turned his attention back to the picture. This one was of Dave in his Marine uniform, how had she gotten this? He wondered, but this was Erin Strauss and she had a way of getting what she wanted.

Thirty minutes later, Morgan and Reid were back with Garcia and Blake in tow. Two large pizzas sat on the coffee table, along with plates, and drinks. Penelope went into the bathroom to get paper towel to use as napkins, but screamed instead. Everyone ran to see what was wrong. Pointing to the corner of the sink, she stammered, "What is that?"

Morgan walked over and picked up the stuffed mouse like creature.

"It's a shrew." Dave said taking it from Derek.

"Why in the name of all things holy is there a shrew in Strauss' bathroom?" Garcia questioned, still shaken.

Dave sighed, "I used to tell her she was a shrew, a woman of violent temper and speech. One day while we were walking through this flea market in Georgetown, she saw that, laughed uncontrollably and I bought it for her, she put it in the bathroom. We laughed about it on many occasions."

The Alpha team went back to having lunch and talking about nothing and everything. Spencer Reid watched as Rossi played with his pizza, but hadn't taken a single bit. "Rossi, you need to eat something."

"I know, I will." He replied picking the pepperoni off the top.

JJ, reached into the box marked "Personal" and pulled out a tiny box. Looking at Dave, "Do you mind?" He gestured for her to go ahead. Opening the box she found five poker chips.

"Ah, these were from a trip to Atlantic City, a very spur of the moment trip that only lasted 5 hours. She won a lot and wanted to keep these chips, one for every hour we were there." Dave held the chips in his hand, remembering before handing them back to JJ.

Blake picked up a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs, looking around the room and gesturing Rossi, "And these?"

"Those were a Christmas gift one year, we were fighting with each other really hard that year and she made some comment about not being a powder puff Agent. Saw them and couldn't resist. Pissed her off for a month, but I noticed she never got rid of them" He said.

In the box was a beautiful scarf folded neatly. JJ picked it up, "This is beautiful."

"That is an Italian handmade scarf." Dave took it, held it gently in his hands as if it would break if he didn't. This was the first gift I bought her when she returned from rehab. I wanted her to have something special. Something that let her know she was worth so much more than she thought she was. She wore it many time, especially when she was chilly. She said it made her feel safe, warm and loved." He turned from the group and stared out the window. They all knew his heart was breaking again, no one said a thing when he whispered to himself mostly, "Erin, I love you and miss you."

Rossi, told the team stories about several of the items that had been place in the box. They were things he knew he would have to do something with sooner or later, but he wasn't ready to let go of them or the memories yet. He watched as his team, his family laughed and learned more about their deceased Section Chief and the side of her she very seldom let anyone see. He knew with this group of people by his side he could get through this, it wouldn't be easy and he would miss Erin terribly, but this family bond would prevail.


End file.
